Watching the days burning out like a cigarette, just a few drags to go

Matt and I went to my 40 week appointment today and got our drop dead date. If Vincent doesn't come on his own we have an appointment to get a sonogram Monday to make sure everything is okay, and if things are then we will come back Tuesday night to get the first round of drugs for inducing. Then we're going to stay the night at Northside and Vincent should be ready to be induced by Wednesday. We still have our fingers crossed that he will come on his own, but at least now there is a definite end in sight. Vincent may not respect his due date, but he can't avoid his eviction date: January 23, a.k.a. he can run, but he can't hide.


The doctor also gave us good news (kinda) that I am now dilated 1 cm. Just one. So that's not that exciting, but at least it is 1 and not 0 like the last 3 times he has checked. At least we are making progress. Of course there is no way to know if my walking caused the 1 cm., but I decided to walk after my appointment just in case. It was a nice day out (finally!) so I decided to take Izzy and walk outside. We walked about 3 miles, but what I didn't think about was the lack of bathroom accessibility. At the gym I could always hop off the treadmill and go. At the mall I could just start to walk in the direction of a bathroom. Outside I was walking farther and farther away from my bathroom the more I pressed on, and of course I needed to stay hydrated, and even if I didn't I still felt like I needed to go to the bathroom constantly...so walking outside wasn't as successful as I had hoped.


I'm still nervous about the imminent pain of this whole process. I fully plan on getting an epidural, but I know that that can't mean I will be pain free. That would just be too easy. It's so conflicting because I want Vincent to come so badly. I want him to come like 3 weeks ago, but I also know that I'm not in pain now, and when he comes I will be. I can't help but think that since I've been looking forward to this day for almost 9 months that the pain can't be like other pain. It's gotta be better. Even if it's excruciating. It's gotta be somehow okay just because I've known it's coming; I've wanted it to come, and it's the only way to get my baby. Still waiting on the unknown.

I'm 39 weeks and 5 days pregnant with 2 days left til due date.