I'm on the edge of glory ;)

Still no Vincent! I was super tired this morning. It was hard to drag my butt out of bed at noon! Ugh. So Matt and I went to Starbucks like we do most Saturday mornings and I decided to make an exception and get a caffeinated frappe since I was sooo tired. It really did help perk me up, but wasn't like a dramatic high and then crash so that was good.

After Starbucks I convinced Matt to go on a walk with me. Yay! So we did the same walk I did with Izzy yesterday, but without her because it's super annoying walking her. She has to go into every yard and sniff around, pee on just about every yard, and bark or growl at every dog we pass. It was much more enjoyable walking with Matt. And the coffee really helped me keep a faster pace today so we weren't doing like a pathetic pregnant waddle. If Vincent still isn't here tomorrow I bet we will be doing the same thing tomorrow!!

Then around 7 I left for Jessica Vincent's baby shower. I was really hoping I wouldn't be able to attend when she told me about it just because I'd either be in labor or be recovering from having my baby. Since he's still all snug in there off I went! It was kind of enjoyable though because everybody asked me when I was due and I got to say, "Tomorrow!" and everybody thought that was just amazing. I still held out hope that I could go into labor or something while I was there and Matt could just come pick me up, but Vincent had different plans. It really feels like he is late. It's hard to believe his due date is actually tomorrow. It's still not too late to be on time, Vincent! Fingers crossed!



I am 39 weeks and 6 days pregnant with 1 day left to go!!

Watching the days burning out like a cigarette, just a few drags to go

Matt and I went to my 40 week appointment today and got our drop dead date. If Vincent doesn't come on his own we have an appointment to get a sonogram Monday to make sure everything is okay, and if things are then we will come back Tuesday night to get the first round of drugs for inducing. Then we're going to stay the night at Northside and Vincent should be ready to be induced by Wednesday. We still have our fingers crossed that he will come on his own, but at least now there is a definite end in sight. Vincent may not respect his due date, but he can't avoid his eviction date: January 23, a.k.a. he can run, but he can't hide.


The doctor also gave us good news (kinda) that I am now dilated 1 cm. Just one. So that's not that exciting, but at least it is 1 and not 0 like the last 3 times he has checked. At least we are making progress. Of course there is no way to know if my walking caused the 1 cm., but I decided to walk after my appointment just in case. It was a nice day out (finally!) so I decided to take Izzy and walk outside. We walked about 3 miles, but what I didn't think about was the lack of bathroom accessibility. At the gym I could always hop off the treadmill and go. At the mall I could just start to walk in the direction of a bathroom. Outside I was walking farther and farther away from my bathroom the more I pressed on, and of course I needed to stay hydrated, and even if I didn't I still felt like I needed to go to the bathroom constantly...so walking outside wasn't as successful as I had hoped.


I'm still nervous about the imminent pain of this whole process. I fully plan on getting an epidural, but I know that that can't mean I will be pain free. That would just be too easy. It's so conflicting because I want Vincent to come so badly. I want him to come like 3 weeks ago, but I also know that I'm not in pain now, and when he comes I will be. I can't help but think that since I've been looking forward to this day for almost 9 months that the pain can't be like other pain. It's gotta be better. Even if it's excruciating. It's gotta be somehow okay just because I've known it's coming; I've wanted it to come, and it's the only way to get my baby. Still waiting on the unknown.

I'm 39 weeks and 5 days pregnant with 2 days left til due date.

Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles if I could just see you tonight.

Even though my doctor said that walking will not help naturally induce labor, a lot of women I've talked to swear that it worked for them. Also, if you google it, a lot of women say the same thing. So I went to the mall today with the intent of walking til the baby fell out. I walked from 10am til 2pm...4 hours and no contractions. I kind of feel some pressure on my pelvis, but it definitely doesn't feel like a baby's about to fall out which I've read is what it feels like once he "drops." Now my feet hurt, and I'm pretty sure I'm going to have a charley horse in the night. Oh well. It was worth the try. If I didn't try it I would be beating myself up about it now.


I'm not feeling as enraged as last night so I can tell you what I did yesterday. I baked cookies for Matt's job to say thank you for the nice dinner and all the other thoughtful things. I went to Babies R Us and spent $235! Which surprisingly didn't really buy that many things. Anyways, the gift cards from Gameplan covered almost all of the cost and I used a different gift card I also got from Gameplan  (for Christmas) to pay the rest. People have been so generous with money and gift cards for Vincent. We haven't had to spend a dime of our own money at Babies R Us. It's been a real blessing. Then after my shopping spree I went to the gym and walked on the treadmill for an hour. I would have gone back and done that today, but there's a rule that you can only stay on one cardio machine for 30 minutes, and there are only 2 treadmills so I think people really do care about the rule. I was able to walk an hour yesterday because I walked 30 minutes, left the gym, walked to the nearby bathroom, walked back, and no one was on the treadmill so I got back on. I knew I wanted to do some serious walking today so I didn't want to risk not having access to the treadmill.

So even though I am not as mad as I was last night I am still really on edge. My hormones are going nuts. At least I could recognize it today. Matt was angering me just by eating a cookie a certain way. I smelled popcorn being popped downstairs and I was angry because I had a feeling it was mine and Andrew didn't ask if he could pop it. Matt asked me what it was like to be that on edge. I told him I feel like a shark with blood in the water.

I can't remember what it's like not to be pregnant. I feel like I've been pregnant my whole life. And at the same time I'm really nervous about the recovery. I feel like it's going to be long and painful and just downright awful. I feel like I've started something I can't finish, but I just have to. He's gotta come out some way and waving some magic wand is not an option. Come on, Vincent?

I'm 39 weeks and 4 days pregnant with 3 days left to go.