All my life I've prayed for someone like you, and I thank God that I finally found you.

When I woke up in the morning I definitely did not feel like P. Diddy. I knew I should be really pumped and excited that Vincent was going to be born today, but I could not wake myself up. I was so tired from the Ambien and morphine. The doctor came in to tell me that my cervix was dilated 8cm!! I was so thrilled, but still sooo tired. She said they would give me 2 hours to dilate the other 2cm. I laid back to relax, but then they came back in and said that Vincent's heart rate was dropping with each big contraction. They started to talk about c-section and all I could think was...what happened to my 2 hours?? Then they came back in and said I had spiked a fever and they strongly recommended a c-section to be safe. Now I was really tired. Almost dead to the world. So what I heard was, "If we don't get this baby out now who knows if he will live." I still started bawling. I was definitely scared and definitely never saw my birth story happening like this. The nurses were all like, "It's okay, I've had 2 c-sections," "You'll be fine," "Blah, blah blah," but they were also saying it in a really rushed way and I was freaking out.


They wheeled me down a lot of halls and I just tried to come to grips with what was going to happen. They put me on a table and I was looking up at a bright light. They put a big blue sheet in front of my face and got to work. Matt stayed up by my face the whole time. I didn't feel any pain, just a lot of movement like they were rearranging my organs which they kind of were.Vincent was born at 11:19AM. When I heard my son cry it was the most beautiful cry I had ever heard. It wasn't shrill or demanding at all. It was just kind of helpless and sweet.

The worst thing about having a c-section besides getting cut was that I didn't get to see Vincent right away. They had to clean him up and do who knows what, but it felt like forever. Then when I did get to see him I didn't get to hold him, Matt just held him by my face and I got to look at him while on the operating table. Then they took him somewhere else to make sure he wasn't affected by my fever and they stitched me up and cleaned me up.

I sat in some area blocked off by a curtain all by myself for what felt like hours. Then Matt came down and waited with me for what felt like more hours. Then we finally went to our room, but Vincent wasn't there! Then some lady came in and was asking me tons of questions and wanting me to sign tons of papers, and I just started bawling again saying, "I want to see my baby now!" So we rushed thru the rest of whatever she wanted me to do and then finally they brought Vincent in the room. Now I was in a lot of pain and on a lot of drugs and I couldn't get out of bed, but I just kept looking over at my beautiful baby making sure he was still there and that he was okay.

I couldn't have solid foods for 12 hours after my c-section so I drank a ton of water, Gatorade, and apple juice. My dinner was broth, jello, and more juice, woo. But I actually wasn't that hungry. And I had a catheter in so for the first time in months I didn't have to pee. I could just drink and drink and drink and never had to make any trips to the bathroom. Sounds gross, but it was awesome. When they finally came to take my catheter out I had to get out of bed to do it. I was majorly apprehensive, but they assured me I could do it. In great pain I scooted on to my side and hoisted myself up with help from the nurse. Walking was terrible and I had to hunch over in pain and fear that I would rip open my stitches. I felt like an old person so many times while I was recovering in the hospital. Not only was I hunched over, I had to use my IV pole to stabilize myself like a cane. When I finally got to the bathroom I didn't think I could sit down. The nurse helped ease me down, but as soon as I was sitting I felt lightheaded. I told her and she told me to just sit there til I felt it pass. It didn't pass. They tried to stand me up to get me back to bed. All of a sudden I couldn't hear anything except a high ringing sound. Then I couldn't see anything except a fuzzy blur. I woke up to someone saying, "She's falling, she's falling." and I was falling into someone. They had me smell ammonia 3 times to try to wake me up. Suddenly four nurses were helping me back into bed. They tried to tell me that happened because I wasn't drinking enough fluids although I was just sure that couldn't be true. I had had so much fun drinking all those fluids. They tried to get me to drink some Gatorade, and I took a few sips but acted like I was too tired to drink any more because I knew the next time I had to pee I would have to get up out of bed again, and I was scared.